he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
