Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
