drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
