i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
