I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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