Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
