Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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