I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think people are normalizing furries
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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