I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
