Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
