no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
