I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
