Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
