Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
