apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
