So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
