1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
