Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
