I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
