I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
