trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize