he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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