I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
