? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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