How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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