yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I am never drinking with the goths again.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize