how do flat chested girls get laid?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
