Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
