I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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