Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
