apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
