DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
