Cold hands, warm shart.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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