Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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