It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
how do flat chested girls get laid?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
