Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
