After last night, I could never be a politician.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Your penis caused this!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
