yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
