he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
