So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
