u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
