I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
