he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
