HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
