Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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