This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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