Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize