Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
