Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
