I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
