Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
