Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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