My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
