apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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