Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize