I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
