is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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