i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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