Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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