Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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