Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
