The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
