Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You made out with two different species that night
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
