He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Congratulations! We have a period
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
