Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
