I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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