so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
