You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
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