My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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