Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
