i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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