I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
