this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
