Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
