i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize