y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
