No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
