Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
