You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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