But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
