it's too hot outside to masturbate.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I got inside last night via doggy door
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
