The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Randomize
