maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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